


Strength

by LittleMissSyreid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Loki, Evil Loki, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Original Character Death(s), Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Canon, Post-Movie(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4534224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissSyreid/pseuds/LittleMissSyreid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader lost her family in the Battle of New York. When she is hired by Tony Stark and befriends Bruce Banner, her life seems to be getting back on track - until the God of Mischief shows up on their door once more. Still furious over the events of that fateful day, the reader must do battle with herself and her emotions. Meanwhile Loki attempts to provoke her, only to discover something in himself...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request I got on tumblr but I feel the plot weakened by the end. However, if you're interested in fluffy Loki feels and a sassy reader taking on an cynical and snarky, silver-tongued Loki, then this is the place for you! :)

There he was.  _Loki_. He paraded through the crumbling streets like he owned them despite the handcuffs, gag and armed escorts that suggested otherwise. His guides, the Avengers, had grave expressions that humbly noted the success they had achieved in capturing the God. The world around you lay in ruins, your life equally so, and as you stepped away from the remnants of the building behind you, Loki’s glimmering eyes turned to you.

Iron Man, or Tony Stark to those near him, also noted the turn of the man’s head and his eyes met yours.   
“Wouldn’t do that if I were you.” But you were not one to take orders – not now. Your father, mother and brother had died in the day’s events and Loki would not live another day with knowing it. Stark began to approach you as you hastened towards the group, stopping you with a gentle hand on your shoulder.   
“He… He killed them. All of them.” You panted.   
“Step away, kid. He’s going back to Asgard, he’s finished here.”

The God’s eyes remained fixated on you as he was forced to walk. Despite being unable to move his mouth, you could tell he was laughing.   
“Relax kid. We got him.” You grunted as if you didn’t think much of their efforts. Frankly, you didn’t. Despite their supposed success, they had laid waste to the city and you knew that it would take a lot of time to recover, a notion not exclusive to the buildings either. People had died and the toll that would take on the world’s morale would be drastic.

“Hey, have I seen your face before?” Tony suddenly said. You blinked and raised your eyebrows, astounded that he could be making leisurely conversation at such a time.   
“Throw me a bone here. I’ve seen your face somewhere and it’s going to kill me.” ‘ _What a choice of words_ ,’ you thought as he pounded his fingertips onto the front of his skull. You held out your hand. The deteriorating streets were no reason to forget your manners.   
“(Y/n) (Y/l/n).” He clicked his fingers and then shook your outstretched hand.

“Time Magazine. 4 weeks ago. Best newcomer to the scientific industry.”   
“That’s me.” You said glumly, imitating a smile.   
“I looked into some of your work – that whole project with superconductors was amazing.” He said, beginning to shake your hand more vigorously now.   
“Yeah. It’s such a shame you beat me to it.” You muttered bitterly before wrenching your hand free. Tony began to frisk himself for something instead.

“Well, I can’t help it - genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist – it’s in the job description.” He grinned before finding what he was searching for. He handed you a white card that had silver block capitals stamped across it. TONY STARK: GENIUS, BILLIONAIRE, PLAYBOY, PHILANTHROPIST.   
“Obviously I’m a little busy at the moment but in the future, I’d love to talk about a collaboration.” Turning the card over, there was indeed a phone number attached.   
“Frankly, I think you’ve got great potential and it’d be a shame to waste it on silly little superconductors.” He winked before walking way. You stared blindly at the card for a little longer until realising you still had no idea what he was hiring you for.   
“But what is your company researching currently?” You called out to the retreating Avenger. Turning around with the signature Stark smile, Tony shouted back.

“Who said anything about my company?”

* * *

One week later and you were stood in front of the three gravestones. Your parents’ and your brother’s names had been lovingly carved into them along with a few sentimentally cliché words about their ‘kindness’ and how ‘sorely they would be missed’. There was no mention of the person who had cruelly ripped them from you. The rain hammered down but you hadn’t brought an umbrella. The cold water was a breath of fresh air down your neck, reminding you that you were alive enough to feel such things.

As you pulled your coat around your body a little tighter, something tumbled from the pocket. A card. It fell to the grass beneath your feet and quickly began to soak in the rain. You picked it up before it could be drenched and examined it. It was Tony Stark’s card. You’d completely forgotten that you had it.

You looked from the tombstones to the card and back again, the silver numbers looking strangely more vibrant in the dull atmosphere.   
“Oh, what the hell…” You muttered, pulling out your phone and making for your car.

It had been Tony Stark’s phone number alright. In fact, it was his personal number. He’d answered and sounded genuinely pleased to hear your voice. You still weren’t sure what he intended to happen but the next thing you knew you were walking down to the Avengers tower, stopping off at your apartment first in case it was some sort of job interview.

However it turned out to be quite the contrary.

You shook hands with each of the Avengers as Tony introduced you to them.  
“(Y/n), this is Steve Rogers. Feel free to make jokes about his age and the ice that he was stuck in for 70 years.” You shook the man’s hand and could feel his strength just from that.   
“Incredible.” You marvelled, unable to fathom that you were meeting  _the_ infamous Steve Rogers – Captain America, the medical marvel, the scientific wonder.   
“Or you can just be totally star struck, that works too.” Steve rolled his eyes and smiled as you continued to be introduced.

“This is the man you  _really_  ought to fawn over. Bruce Banner, (Y/n) (Y/l/n).” You shook the coy doctor’s hand.   
“I’m a huge fan of your work.” You assured him and he smiled.   
“Thank you. I read your thesis on using cell mitosis as a model for growing back human limbs – it was fascinating.” He seemed to be genuinely impressed, a thought that you found incredibly flattering. He released your hand and pushed his glasses up his nose. Tony was looking between the pair of you eagerly and when you caught his gaze, he winked suggestively before clearing his throat and continuing.   
“We’ve got a bet running on who can push Banner to go Hulk mode first.”   
“And Tony is the only one partaking in it.” Steve interjected. You chuckled for the first time in a week.   
“Either way, feel free to join in.”

The way that Tony was introducing you, informing you of their inside jokes and nicknames, caused a curiosity to begin festering in the pit of your stomach…   
“Finally, we have Agents Barton and Romanoff.” You shook the respective agents’ hands and smiled. Clint beamed broadly back at you. Natasha, however, seemed less inclined to smile though you got the feeling it wasn’t personal. The corners of her mouth turned up a little so that she was pouting prettily but other than that, her face remained neutral.   
“Clint and Natasha.” The blonde man explained with a smile.   
“And I presume you’re the former of those names.” He laughed.   
“Sweetheart, you can call me whatever you like.”

Tony grasped your shoulders.   
“Alright then, that’s enough of that.” He steered you away from the playful Clint Barton and out of the door. You were able to get one last look at the team and saw Steve waving politely before Tony slid the door shut behind you.   
“So what do you think?” He said, folding his arms and pursing his lips.   
“What do you mean ‘what do I think’?”  
“I mean, do you think you’ll get on well?”

You blinked. It seemed that confusion was a common feeling whilst you were in Stark’s presence.   
“I mean you wouldn’t exactly see them  _all_  of the time but if you stayed in the tower then there’s the potential that you’d run into them every now and then…” The man began to ramble so you held up your hands.   
“What are you on about? Staying in the tower? Getting on with them?”  
“I really thought it was obvious. I want you to join our team. I want you to join the Avengers.”

And so you did. The choice hadn’t been easy but in the end it made sense. With no family left and a lot of your friends relocating, work seemed like the only stable thing you had going in your life. Moving to the tower took practically no time at all courtesy of Stark Industries. Even Tony himself, who was very excited about your employment, lifted a few of the lighter boxes.   
“Honestly (y/n), I think this is going to be great.”  
“I believed you the first 4 times you said that. Can you grab that box?” You said as you lifted one into the back of the lorry.   
“This one?” He said lifting it up with a groan. As he placed it loudly onto the truck you caught sight of the label –  _Bedding_. Rolling your eyes, you picked up another crate from next to your feet.   
“I didn’t think it was your choice who made it into the Avengers Initiative, anyway.”   
“It isn’t but Fury approached me about something called Project Insight. In return for my help, you got in.”

The lab was incredible, full of all sorts of interesting technology that you couldn’t wait to get your hands on. Tony watched your face amusedly as he led you inside and another voice alerted you to Bruce’s presence.    
“You look like a kid in a candy shop.”   
“I feel like one.” You smiled at him as he walked in and stood by your side, arms folded across his chest.   
“Sorry I couldn’t help with the move.”

You glared to Tony who had a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. You scowled at him before continuing.   
“Please don’t worry about it. I hadn’t realised  _he_  had asked you to.” Bruce chuckled.   
“Keep referring to him like that and you’ll settle in here just fine.”

It had been many weeks since that day and you had, as Bruce had put it, settled in ‘just fine’. However things were thrown out of balance on a particularly sunny Wednesday. The lab’s computer screens were transparent – like big panels of touch screen glass displaying data in various charts. Your computer was attached to a wall bracket which held it at head height and allowed you to manoeuvre it depending on where you stood. You were in the midst of using it when you could’ve sworn you saw a formidable and familiar face peering at you from the other side. When you shook your head, however, it was gone.

“Hey Bruce?” You called out, gently tapping the edge of the screen. Banner looked up and pulled his glasses off of his face.   
“How often do these computers malfunction?” Bruce shook his head and shrugged.   
“Tony designed them so, as far as I know, only he can break them.” You contemplated the suggestion and glanced at the billionaire who was playing around with some “space junk”, as he’d described it.   
“Still a possibility…” You murmured. Bruce laughed whilst Tony grunted contrarily.

When you saw Loki’s face for the second time, however, it wasn’t looking at you through a computer screen. He was in the doorway. Thor was behind him and led him into the room by his elbow. Bruce and Tony were soon at your side, watching on with fear and confusion.   
“I’m not the only one seeing this, right?” Tony asked, gesturing to the Gods and looking to you for confirmation. Banner shook his head whilst you remained speechless and still.   
“It’s rude to point, you know.” The God smirked. Well, that was it.  

“What the hell is  _he_  doing here?” You spat. You hadn’t officially been introduced to Thor but you’d read up on Asgard and its notorious inhabitants upon your arrival. Equally, he had been informed of your joining the team.   
“Most people say hello.” The trickster replied but then pouted when Thor hit him, a little gentler than you would’ve liked.   
“Quiet Loki.” He boomed. Somehow the lion-maned God could command a room with only two words.

“Loki is here as my guest. He bears no ill will.” Thor explained, though his brother’s face did not support his statement.   
“What about me? What if I bear  _ill will_?” You said, folding your arms. Thor sighed.   
“Stark, Banner, may we speak alone?” He said, gesturing to the door with his hand. Both Bruce and Tony looked at you until the latter eventually agreed on both their behalves. They stepped out of the room leaving you alone with Loki. After shutting the door behind them, the raven-haired man spoke, crooning at you whilst his eyes twinkled with mischief.

“You are the woman from the street.”   
“And you’re the asshole who broke that street. What else is new?” You spat, returning your focus to the computer. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of angering you if it could be helped – you always did have a short temper.   
“Such mighty words for such a puny ape.” He grinned, stepping slowly towards you. Grinding your teeth, you ignored the insult. He laughed, seeming to love the game you were playing.   
“You should not ignore me, pet. It will do you not good.”

“And you would do better than to provoke me.” You muttered, shifting a slider to the right and examining the changes on the graph. Loki’s face was behind the screen once more, staring at you, only this time it was real.   
“Is that a challenge?”   
“It’s a threat.” You hissed, selecting more data to show on the chart.

“Ooh, how exciting.” Loki said scornfully, walking around the table top to stand by you. Unable to distract yourself any longer, you turned and faced your demons – your family’s killer – and crossed your arms defensively.   
“How could you of all people expect to possibly beat me?”  
“I’m very resilient.” He sneered again.   
“Oh, I bet you are.” You let your tongue slide into your cheek and Loki revelled in the thought that he might be irritating you.   
“Do you really believe think that you can hurt me?” He jeered.   
“Let’s find out shall we.”

You fists had long been clenched and when you threw one into Loki’s face, his head whipped backwards wonderfully. His now dishevelled black hair hid the cut that had formed on his brow as a result. It felt good to punch him. And it felt even better seeing the rage that twisted his face.

“Stupid woman.” Loki hissed, lifting his hand. But you caught his wrist before he could strike.   
“Listen,  _mate_. I don’t know who you think you are-”  
“I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am-”  
“-Burdened with glorious purpose. Yeah, I got it. I read the file. But that’s not what I meant.” You ground your teeth again, anger seething through your very bones.   
“You came to our planet and intended to rule us without our consent.” Loki made to protest using the words ‘freedom’ and ‘liberation’ but the look in your eyes made him think better of it – for now.   
“You killed our people, destroyed our cities, and broke our trust. Just because Thor has apparently forgiven you, does not mean that we have. Do I make myself clear?” He remained still.   
“You have no power here. You never will. Your damaged life does not atone for the lives you broke.” Your voice was shaking with emotion now. “You haven’t had to help Tony cope during a PTSD induced panic attack. You haven’t had to talk Bruce down from a rooftop.”

You paused.

“You haven’t suffered the weight of realising that your family aren’t coming home… because some lunatic with a glowing stick decided that their lives paled in comparison to his.”

Loki had heard enough. He was a God, for crying out loud, and he was not going to tolerate this Midgardian’s mindless ranting. She knew not of what he went through nor of what he had endured to become who he was. He wrenched his arm free of her grasp and lifted it higher but this time she didn’t protest.   
“Do it.” She spat. “Do it, I dare you.” So Loki did. He slapped her as hard as he could but then felt his feet fall out from underneath him. His head smacked against the floor and a force pressed into his throat. Glaring down, he saw the woman’s foot was across his jugular.

“After you left, everybody got a little better at defending themselves.” You spat. Suddenly, you realised the position you were in. Loki was still grinning like he knew something you didn’t but you were calling his bluff.   
“I could do it. I could kill you, right now, and no-one would care. Some might even thank me for it.”

Loki stared at her. She was going to kill him. She had the anger, he could see it in her, her weakness, coursing through her veins. It was the force that was driving her foot and it was the same force that he had felt finding out his heritage, the force that had driven him to join the Chitauri. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, waiting for death – until she lifted her foot off of his throat and stormed from the room, leaving the God alone and confused on the floor.

You opened the lab door and slammed it behind you. Tony, Bruce and Thor were mid-conversation and turned to look at you. They all seemed to share the same expression but you couldn’t tell what it was. You, taking charge, turned to Thor.   
“Your brother hasn’t changed, I see.” Bruce suddenly approached you, taking your face into his hands and tilting it gently to the side.   
“(Y/n), what happened to your cheek?” Tony then noticed it and peered inwards.   
“That rat bastard…” He whispered. Thor sighed and let his head fall into his hands.

“Lady (Y/n). I must apologise. I should not have brought him here.” You ripped yourself out of Bruce’s grasp.   
“You’re damn right, you shouldn’t have.” You muttered as you stormed down the corridor.

Not long after, you were sat in your room replaying the events in your head. You’d been unable to stop thinking about Loki since he’d returned and it was infuriating you. As a temporary solution to your mounting anger, you’d convinced yourself that you were only thinking of him because it had felt unimaginably good to punch him. A soft knocking at the door pulled you from your thoughts.   
“Clint if that’s you, I’m in no mood to-”  
“It’s Bruce.” He said, turning the door handle and peering in. You sighed and smiled. Banner took that as a sign to enter and did so, bringing the first-aid kit in his hands with him. You held up your hands.   
“Bruce, I promise I’m fine. He didn’t hit me that hard.”

Looking down, Bruce smiled.   
“Actually, I just came back from patching up Loki. Apparently you have a mean right hook.” You chuckled and bit your lip whilst Bruce crossed the room and sat next to you on your bed.   
“Are you just here to check up on me?” You asked and Bruce smiled.   
“Yes and no. I’m here with a message – but I volunteered to deliver it so that I could check up on you.” Nodding, you replied.   
“Thanks. What’s the message?”

“Somebody owes you an apology.”

* * *

It was an interesting experience. Thor stood behind Loki, watching him like a disappointed parent, and Bruce stood behind you, no doubt looking like an anxious parent who was introducing their young child to a dog with a questionable temperament. Although that wasn’t a wholly inaccurate description for the silver-tongued Asgardian.

After being stood in silence for a few minutes, Thor pushed Loki’s shoulder and the latter stumbled forward a few steps before shooting an angry glance at his brother. He cleared his throat.   
“Lady (Y/n). I must apologise for my behaviour earlier. The act of striking you was abhorrent and inappropriate – even if it was a completely acceptable response.” Thor made to step forward and correct Loki but you held your hands up. You could tell that even Loki was surprised by the action.   
“Let him finish.” You said blandly.   
“…a completely acceptable response. I should not have laid hands on you and for that I apologise.”

You nodded gracefully and folded your arms.   
“And I apologise for punching you in the face. It was an impulsive reaction due to my short temper and I should not have done it – even if I warned you against provoking me.” Loki’s eyes glimmered again and he smirked. Thor was looking at you curiously too. Turning on your heel, you took Bruce by the hand and led him out of the room.

“That was very big of you, (y/n).” Bruce commented as you walked through the corridor.   
“Thank you. I figured that I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, I’d be no better than him otherwise.” Your friend nodded concurringly.   
“Although I still don’t know why he was brought back here. Thor seemed a little reluctant to share that information.” You said, trying not to grumble. Bruce chuckled at your failed attempt.   
“Well, all he told us was that Loki had been pardoned on the conditions that he helped the Avengers.”

“What?!” You cried, and a suddenly panicked Bruce pushed you into the door you had just passed, checking left and right to see if anyone had heard all the while.   
“See this is why he didn’t tell you immediately.” He whispered once you were inside the closet. Bruce wasn’t a fan of small spaces and he was visibly uncomfortable. However he forced himself to deal with it.   
“And when exactly were you planning on telling me that?”   
“Soon. But we all agreed that we’d have to find the right way of doing it.”

“Everybody else knows? And, what, they’re all just okay with this?”   
“No…” Bruce said, ruffling his hair anxiously. “It’s complicated. Like you said, we’re trying to be the bigger people here and give him the benefit of the doubt. If he turns out to be helpful then we’ve gained an asset. If not then we send him packing back to Asgard.”

“That’s a little risky, don’t you think?” You objected, folding your arms. Bruce nodded.   
“But we’ve defeated him once before.”  
“And you’re willing to take that chance again? Even after what he did to you?” He turned away.   
“I’m not the only one he targeted. He killed your family, (y/n).” He said, softly touching your arm to try and keep you calm. It worked, but only because you had no anger left to spew.   
“Is that why you didn’t tell me? Because you think I want revenge?”

His hesitation told you all that you needed to know.   
“We- We’ve just got to trust him. Or rather,” He continued when he saw you frown, “we have to trust Thor and his judgement of him.”  
“I don’t think I know Thor well enough to accept his word.”  
“(Y/n), I know-”  
“No Bruce, I don’t think you do.” You said pushing him past him and letting your hand rest on the door handle.

“I thought I was a part of this team but you all seem perfectly content to sneak around behind my back, trying to find a way to tell me things other than saying it to my face. Why am I suddenly the volatile one? And why is it that my reaction to this situation is seemingly so unnatural?”  
“(Y/n), none of those things are true. We were looking out for you.”  
“Really? Coz in the last hour the only one who’s apologised to me is the war criminal.”


	2. You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

She was a curious specimen. How she had managed to worm her way into his head was currently unbeknownst to him yet there he was, thinking about the punch she’d laid on him, the way she’d held her ground in his presence and her less-than-apologetic apology for all of the above. Secretly he wanted to see her again, if only just to test the water a little more.

After she had left with Doctor Banner, Thor had guided him to a room of Stark Tower that he recognised. However the last time he had been in the room, a war was waging outside the window and there was a Loki-shaped hole in the floor courtesy of the green monster.   
“I am going to find Doctor Banner so that we might discuss telling Lady (Y/n) of your pardon. Can I trust you to remain here Loki?”  
“Have I not earned your trust already,  _brother_?” He chuckled, venom dripping from each word. Thor rolled his eyes and sighed before leaving the room.

Loki would do as he was told for now. Being on Midgard was so dreadfully dull that leaving the room would be no better than remaining in it. Minutes passed and Loki grew impatient.   
“Stupid oaf.” He muttered, just as the sound of footsteps entered the room. Thor was followed by Bruce into the room looking extremely uncomfortable about something.

“Where is the woman? I thought she was with you.” Loki sighed.   
“She need not be here yet. We still do not know how best to tell her of your pardon.”   
“Why such a fuss? Why not tell her honestly?” He groaned, wishing that he had a drink to sip on so that he could show his disinterest in the topic by some other means than rolling his eyes.   
“You were responsible for the death of her family.” Bruce explained and Loki’s face dropped. In his mind’s eye, the imaginary glass he had been drinking from shattered on the floor.

_“You haven’t suffered the weight of realising that your family aren’t coming home… because some lunatic with a glowing stick decided that their lives paled in comparison to his.”_

“I see.” He gulped. Banner then turned to Thor.   
“And as I tried to tell you on the way over here, we missed our chance. I let it slip why Loki was here and (Y/n) went berserk. I don’t even know where she’s gone.” Thor sighed and scratched his chin thoughtfully.   
“That is not ideal. We must find her before she does a desperate outrage to herself.”

Loki stood up, surpassed the two men and made for the door.   
“Loki?” Thor asked, not with the intention of stopping his brother, but more to express his misunderstanding.   
“The girl thinks that I am a threat. What better way to prove my loyalty than to comfort her during a time of need?”

* * *

The rooftop was high enough that the sound of the traffic below was swallowed by silence. You sat on the edge and let your feet dangle over the edge, not caring about the potentially dangerous situation you were in. A soft wind blew and swept your hair out of your face. You closed your eyes to soak it in.

Whilst the world was dark, you picked up on the sound of footsteps approaching from afar. They stopped to the right of you and the owner lowered themselves to the ground. Upon opening your eyes, you were greeted by a pair of sapphires. Any other time you’d have been surprised, but something in you had expected him to come, if out of nothing more than curiosity.

“Why so pensive, my lady?”  
“ _My lady?_  What happened to ‘dumb ape’?” Loki chuckled and it was surprisingly free of any scorn or villainy. It sounded… genuine and thus strange.   
“A miscalculation on my part. My apologies.”  
“Two apologies in one day? I’m honoured.” You muttered.

“However, you still haven’t answered my question.”   
“I’ll make you a deal. For every question you answer, you can ask one of me.”  
“That sounds fair.” He mused.   
“It does, doesn’t it? But I’m in no mood for fair, so you may only ask three questions.” He pursed his lips and tried to stop them from smiling – the woman was so much like him in ways she would never know.   
“Very well.”

“Question 1: Why are you really here?” You wanted to fold your arms but a voice in your head told you that whilst you were dangling from a rooftop with a megalomaniacal God of tricks by your side, letting go of the building was practically a death wish. Loki, however, released his grip to hold up his hands, palms facing towards you.   
“Cards on the table. I have no ulterior motives, believe it or not.” You paused, chewing over his answer. Could it be possible? Could he really be seeking forgiveness?

“My turn. Why did the Avengers take you on?” ‘ _Easy._ ’ You thought.   
“Tony was a fan of my work and thought I’d be an asset to the group.”  
“The same way that they think I will be an asset?” You opened your mouth but the words caught in your throat for but a moment.   
“Well, no, no, of course not. I’m a good guy. I’m not… like you.” You said, frowning slightly. You could see the ends of his mouth wavering and you quickly began to question things. Why  _had_  Tony taken you on so willingly? Was there something they weren’t telling you? Again? Loki’s stare reminded you of his capabilities and you convinced yourself that he was simply trying to make you paranoid.  

“Question 2: Why did you attack New York?” Loki frowned and thought for a moment, placing his chin between his fingers. For a moment he seemed reluctant to answer but eventually blessed you with a seemingly honest answer.   
“Well… I was wronged. My fath- Thor’s father – greatly exploited me. He discriminated against me my entire life for something that I had no control over or knowledge of.” His voice was deep and grave, sincerity charging the words. You were still sceptical of his honesty but you remembered that you didn’t need to believe him to be courteous.

Tentatively removing a hand from the ledge, you placed it on his.   
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what that’s like but I do know that it mustn’t have felt fair.” You gave him a reassuring smile but he responded to it coldly.   
“Is that sympathy I detect?” He smirked. You noted that he hadn’t yet pulled his hand away.   
“I’m not forgiving you – and I certainly do not condone what it made you do – but, yes, I am sorry for what happened.”

“Well, there was nothing  _you_  could have done.” He said, retrieving his hand and rubbing the place your fingers had once rested with his own.   
“My second question…” He pondered aloud, causing a smile to cross your lips.   
“Actually, this would be your final question, I believe – you asked two last time.” Loki opened his mouth to protest only to realise his mistake. The look in his eyes displayed both his awe and irritation.

“Indeed…” He growled. The trickster spent a fair while, approximately 20 seconds, contemplating his final question whilst staring down at the street of New York. When he had reached a conclusion, he slowly turned to look at you, his face more solemn and inquisitive than before.   
“Why didn’t they tell you why I was here?”

The question initially took you by surprise and you gathered your thoughts for the response. In the end, your reply was based on what Bruce had said and the assumptions you had made. It was as truthful and factual as you could make it – the only way you knew how to answer as a scientist.

“They thought I wanted revenge.”  
“Don’t you?” He asked, still staring intently at you. You were taken aback for the second time. You had felt angry and frustrated, sure, but was it really in you to kill him? You knew deep down it wouldn’t bring your family back but part of you still wondered how you’d feel knowing that you’d brought true justice to their killer.

As if deciding something, Loki suddenly stood and dragged you also to your feet. He positioned you in front of him at arm’s length and teetered dangerously on the edge of the building.   
“What are you doing?” You asked, failing to hide the concern in your voice. He spread his arms wide.   
“Do it.” He whispered and you blinked.   
“What?”   
“Do it! If you want your revenge then take it. I shall not quarrel.”

You made no movement, instead choosing to stare at him like he was insane; again not a wholly inaccurate description.   
“ _Do it_.” He grinned wickedly. “Let the anger surge within you. Let it fuel and drive your muscles. Let it consume you and fill your very heart, like a disease, like a sickening power that is gloriously underappreciated. Bring about my demise,  _pet_ , and grant your parents’ souls peace.”

His words sunk into your skin and seeped into your bloodstream, pumped by your now racing heart.   
“I… I’m not going to push you off of a building. That’s not who I am. I’ve told you, I’m not like you.” You said, shaking your head as if to remind yourself that, despite how much you wanted to, you must not do it. Sighing, Loki let his arms drop. He took a step forward and looked you deep in the eye.   
“You are weak.”

“You claim to be intelligent but your very core is rotten with impotence like the slugs that grace your Midgardian sewers.” His face darkened. “You are a pathetic excuse of a mortal, one of whom your wretched parents would pity and-” You pushed against his chest with all of your strength. The God toppled backwards, flailing his arms, and fell gracelessly over the building’s edge, his long robes making a horrifyingly beautiful rippling sound as he tumbled into the empty air.

Your fists hung by your side in tightly balled fists and your shoulders rose and fell quickly. The minute you realised what you had done, you wished that you had not done it. Racing forward as far as you dared go, you peered out and searched for Loki’s body.

Only to hear a slow clapping from behind you.

“Well done.” Loki purred. “I am impressed.” Your mouth dropped open as you realised the trick that he had played on you – the trick that you had allowed yourself to fall for.   
“Truly, I didn’t think you had it in you. I underestimated your abilities and for that I must, again, apologise.” You leapt like a panther and grabbed the collar of his shirt, thrusting him against the wall. Despite his head smacking into the bricks, he continued to smile – like a cat who had been caught on the countertop with no intention of coming down.

“What are you trying to do to me?” You spat.   
“Nothing, pet. This is all you.”   
“No… This isn’t me. Had you not come here in the first place then I wouldn’t be feeling like this at all.”   
“Wouldn’t you? Tell me, how easy was it to get ahead in your line of work?”

He watched the fire in your eyes flickering. The lust of your soul presented itself to him so easily. He found himself drawn to you, inexplicably. Before the thought finished crossing his mind, Loki had pulled you against him and kissed you. At first you let out a cry of surprise and tried to back away but he grabbed your waist and held you still, eventually turning you around and backing you into the wall where he then proceeded to lean into you.

It was wrong to be kissing him, you knew that much, but your emotions were currently askew and you were anything but in the right state of mind. He’d made you feel many things on this rooftop – fury being one of them. This had ignited a fire in your belly but you couldn’t tell whether the flames burned with passion or anger. He both equally enraged and enticed you, instilling a curiosity within your bones that you just couldn’t overthrow.

His hands dug their way in amongst your hair and pulled your head back giving him ample opportunity to lean over you and kiss you deeper. It was at that moment you felt the moan climbing up your throat.

“Bruce…”

Loki froze. He slowly pulled away and you could see that his eyes were alight, staring at you as he accustomed to what had just happened. Part of you was glad to have irritated him, so that he might feel how you did, but you were also suffering the chill that presented itself when his body wasn’t against yours.

Quick as a whip, Loki turned and left, heading for the elevator. You were confused, angry, sickened and afraid, a cocktail of emotions that left you momentarily paralysed. The wind picked up once more, striking you harshly in the face and bringing you back to reality. After leaving a few moments to give Loki a head start, you too abandoned the rooftop, hoping to leave your chaotic thoughts up there.

* * *

Tony peered over the graphs you’d left up on your monitor. He hummed thoughtfully before moving one of the sliders to the right. Lifting his notes up, he compared the two before using the pencil from behind his ear to make a correction. At the sound of the door sliding open, Tony scurried across to the other side of the room.   
“I wasn’t doing any- oh. It’s you.” He sighed and smiled.

Bruce rolled his eyes.   
“Copying (y/n)’s notes?”   
“Borrowing.” He corrected with a finger lifted high, as if that might in some way make what he said true.   
“Speaking of which, where is she? I haven’t seen her since she socked Loki in the jaw.” Bruce folded his arms anxiously and shrugged.   
“I wish I knew. Loki’s gone to find her in an attempt to gain her trust.” Tony nodded and approached your computer once more.

“I take it she knows then.” He chuckled and Bruce raised his eyebrows, beginning to walk towards his friend.   
“You don’t seem surprised.”   
“I’m not.” Bruce waited for elaboration but Tony paused, building the unnecessary tension. Upon catching Banner’s expectant gaze, he sighed.   
“I knew it from the minute I introduced you two. You were practically undressing her with your eyes!”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.   
“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that.”  
“You do what you like – all I’m saying is in 10 years’ time, you two will have settled down in a small cottage with your very cute, very short-tempered children.” Tony smiled wistfully and gazed into the distance as though he could see it.   
“I don’t think I’d do well in a small cottage, do you?” The billionaire didn’t respond. He simply cocked an eyebrow in Bruce’s direction, a telling smile gracing his face. The doctor realised his blunder and shook his hands dramatically.

“Which is not the point. The point is that she doesn’t see me like- I mean, I don’t see her like- It isn’t happening Tony so wipe that smirk off of your face.” He strode back to his own desk and tried to ignore the suggestive look that Stark continued to give him. When the door slid open again, both men wheeled round. Tony scrambled away from your monitor but that was the last thing you were worried about at present.

Bruce noted your appearance as you walked towards him. Messed up hair, red face and scuffs along the back of your legs hinted at something he couldn’t put his finger on. He also picked up on the way you looked distracted – and not in the good way either. Usually if you were side-tracked, it was because you had an idea that you needed to focus on remembering. This was the kind of distracted that told him you were troubled. You reached his side with your arms folded and your hands tugging at the material of your shirt.    
“Can we talk?” You whispered.

He didn’t know what made him say it. Maybe it was the suggestive glint in Tony’s watchful eye or maybe it was remembering what had happened the last time you had a conversation together. Either way, Bruce found himself saying the last thing he thought he would ever say.   
“Sorry, I’m… I’m a little busy. Maybe later?”

Tony’s stiffened for reasons you didn’t know and as you retreated dejectedly from the room, you heard the two begin to hiss at each other, though you didn’t catch the topic of conversation. It would seem that Bruce, the one person you thought you could count on, was afraid of you. Evaluating your options, you came to a horrifying conclusion. You had only just met Thor and given your predicament, it would be inappropriate to seek his advice. Clint wouldn’t take you seriously, Natasha would take it  _too_ seriously and Steve was away on a mission. Tony was… Well, Tony wasn’t an option and that left you with only one person in the building that would understand…

Loki paced his room, unable to think straight. Of course it had been too good to be true. The one person he had thought shared his anger, his rage, and the passion it inspired, had already fallen for the one they called “The Hulk”. In retrospect, it made sense - the woman brimming with emotion falling for the man who avoided it.

On one hand he felt his wrath growing but something else contaminated his rage. Love? No… Impossible. Determination, probable. He had seen something he wanted and had been denied it thus determination to win her back was an appropriate and reasonable response. Just as he was resolving such thoughts, a pounding at the door ripped him away from his thoughts.

Swinging it open, his eyes fell upon a most unexpected sight.   
“Well, well, pet. Returned for seconds?” He sneered.   
“Do not think I won’t hit you again.” You grumbled, pushing past him and letting yourself into the room. Loki shut the door behind you after peering down the corridor for any potential spectators.

The God had modified the room that Thor had lent him to his own preferences. The smoking chair had been moved into the corner next to the bookshelf and a table lamp set up next to it. A little magic had also turned it a warm shade of emerald. It was on this chair that you now sat with your head in your hands.   
“Are you angry, darling?” Loki said, walking towards you with his hands behind his back. His flippant use of such endearing terms was enough to grind your teeth.

“Fuming.” You breathed, fire tainting your breath. Loki nodded understandingly as you continued, placing himself elegantly on the bedside, now the only available seat in the room.   
“And confused and afraid and… so many other things that I don’t understand.”   
“And you came to me?” He asked confusedly. Loki felt something twist in his stomach – it was a new feeling that he likewise didn’t recognize.   
“Only because I am pretty sure it’s your fault.” You huffed, finally pulling your face out of your hands to look at him.

Loki folded his arms, trying to ignore the distracting feeling that worsened in his gut.   
“Then I am the only one qualified to help you fix it.” He said with a nod. Though a little reluctantly at first, you soon found yourself talking to Loki and airing your concerns. You ran through everything that you were thinking and feeling from the earlier events to the day your parents died. Without realising, however, you soon began to digress more and more. He didn’t stop you though – in fact, he didn’t speak at all, only listened, and bore a face of interest that never changed. He didn’t ridicule you nor did he laugh at your plights. Somebody listening to you was not a rare occasion – you’d become somewhat adept at making yourself heard – but it still surprised you that he, seemingly the most unreasonable of people, was being so patient. The longer you talked, the more of your anger you could feel melting away.

Loki could be a very good listener when he wanted to be and he very much wanted to be now. He had concluded that the best way to win you over and quench his curiosity was to try understanding you, not as a specimen or a target, but as a person. As he listened to you, he contemplated your words and came to many suppositions, though none final or definite.

You saw everything logically and from a scientific standpoint where possible. Your empathetic reaction to his shocking biography showed him that you were kind and considerate, despite your outwardly flawed persona. The more you spoke of your history before the Battle of New York the more he could see of your bright future. But when you returned to the tales to recent times, the lights darkened. He had poisoned you. Unknowingly, he had cursed you to a downward spiral of madness, confusion and rage. In one kiss you had learnt to fear and loath him, acting on those emotions only when you were blinded by the rage he continued to incite in you for his own amusement. Upon realising that, he noticed something else. Something within  _him_ …

Love? Impossible. Guilt? Probable.

The sickening feeling in his stomach worsened as you finished talking.   
“How do you feel now?” He asked, willing the ‘guilt’ to subside. You nodded hesitantly in response to his question.   
“Better… Strangely enough.”   
“You insult me.” He grinned wickedly.   
“Believe me, you’d know if I insulted you.” You remarked, standing up.   
“Oh I’m sure I would, pet.” You cringed again at the nickname.   
“Would you like me to offend you? Because you’re going the right way about it.” Loki opened his mouth to speak only for the growth in his stomach to absorb his words.

“No.” He said instead. “I think we’ve seen enough of what your anger can do today.”

Loki realised in those moments that he had been the cause of your undoing and so long as he was in your presence, he would only continue to unravel you. At the same time, he was the only one able to undo his work – a cruel twist of fate. Something set you apart from the others, he knew that much, but in trying to discover what it was, he had almost destroyed it – and you. A sensation previously unknown inspired him to undo that work and in the process uncover the basis of this foreign feeling. Love? Impossible. That was impossible. Absolutely, and entirely impossible.

Right?


	3. A Villain's Happy Ending

It had been a long day. Your chat with Loki had created as many questions as they had answered and you couldn’t focus without knowing the answers. You found yourself seeking advice from the once person you never thought capable of giving it.

“Hey, Tony. You here?” You asked, walking into the seemingly empty lab.   
“Yeah, over here.” He said. A hand shot up from behind the countertop and waved. You circled around it and saw that Stark was on the floor, gathering up pieces of paper. Kneeling down, you helped him gather them together. Once they were collated and tidily arranged on the table, Tony conjured a packet of blueberries from somewhere and hopped nimbly onto the side.   
“What’s up kid?” You took a deep breath and released it.   
“Has Bruce spoken to you at all? About me, I mean.” Tony ripped the top of the silver packet, shaking his head.   
“Why?”  
“Well, he’s been acting a little strange – I’d go as far as to say skittish – around me.”

“No, I don’t know.” Vivid memories of your conversation with Bruce after he revealed the reason for Loki’s presence flashed into your head, accompanied by Loki’s words:  _“Let the anger surge within you.”_ You came to a horrifying conclusion.   
“Tony, he isn’t afraid of me, is he?” Tony choked on the blueberry he was eating and spluttered.   
“Because I know that I have a short temper and I don’t mean to-”  
“(Y/n), can you hear yourself? This is Bruce we’re talking about. _Bruce._  He’d be afraid of his own shadow if it turned green and smashy. He’s not afraid of you just because you’ve got a temperament.” He chuckled and you sighed. You lifted yourself onto the table next to him and he offered you a blueberry. Whilst you ate it, he continued talking:   
“Besides, we wouldn’t have hired you if your temper was that bad. Not with all this expensive equipment and glass around.”

A sudden thought popped into your head.   
“Tony, why  _did_  you hire me?” He looked at you with knitted eyebrows.   
“I thought that was obvious.”   
“Humour me.” You said, folding your arms.   
“Alright.” He paused and sighed. “We were researching the same area and you were making more progress than I was. I figured that if I could hire you, I could put both of our names on it.” It wasn’t the answer you’d wanted or expected but that made you fear it was true. Tony was offering the blueberries to you again, as if to soften the blow, and whilst you took one, he asked a question of his own.

“Where is all this coming from anyway? We haven’t given you any reason not to trust us, have we?” You shook your head a little before answering.   
“I guess I was just paranoid. The way you guys tiptoed around telling me about Loki pissed me off a little. I couldn’t see at the time that you were trying to be sensitive.” Tony slowly nodded, understanding better now.   
“Well, I apologise for that. In the future, we shall just be honest with you – no matter how brutal or harsh.” You chuckled and took another berry.   
“Thanks. I think I probably let Loki mess with my head.” Tony suddenly frowned.   
“Mm. Bruce mentioned that he tried to talk to you – something about gaining your trust. How’d that go?” He mumbled, placing another blueberry into his mouth.

“I pushed him off of the roof.” Tony barked a laugh.   
“That’s my girl.” He snorted, covering his mouth with his arm to hide the dirty laugh that was escaping it.

“You’re not surprised?” You asked with a raised brow.   
“Surprised? No. I’ve wanted to push that smug bastard off of a roof since I met him.” He said, managing to reduce his hoarse laughter down to a mild chuckle. You smiled and helped yourself to another piece of fruit. Tony didn’t protest.   
“So what do you think about him joining the team then?” You asked. Tony shrugged his shoulders and tossed a blueberry into the air before catching it in his mouth.   
“Really?” You exclaimed. “Even after everything that happened?” You said. When he figured out what you were referring to, he looked at you with concern. You placed a hand on his to convey that you meant nothing by it.   
“Look, I’ll be honest. I knew that someday I was going to have to deal with it. It just came sooner than I expected.” You nodded understandingly and promptly dropped the subject. After collaboratively finishing the fruit, you returned to your work silently. Bruce entered the room at some point.

You scribbled furiously on the paper and Tony continued to fiddle with his “space junk” – he’d made no progress in that department as of yet. Bruce looked over from his computer at a crunching sound only to see that you’d broken the pencil you were writing with. The upper half dangled loosely over the top of your hand. He smiled and pulled the green pen from behind his ear.   
“Here.” He said, handing it to you.   
“You sure you trust me with it?” You chuckled.   
“It’s more difficult to break than a pencil.”   
“Sounds like a challenge.”

You continued your notes with a newfound vigour, the pen able to take the speed and pressure you were writing with. Intrigued by the energy you had discovered, Bruce stood by your side a moment and watched you until eventually you stopped. The pen clattered onto the countertop with a sound that seemed to echo – at least to you. Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose.   
“What’re you thinking?” He asked.   
“I’m thinking…” You gulped and let yourself scan your notes once more, just to be sure. “…that my cellular mitosis idea might not be  _totally_  implausible.” Bruce widened his eyes a little.   
“Really?” You nodded and watched him fold his arms, a sign of his interest, as you explained.

“Originally, I’d thought that it could be done using a process similar to gene sequencing. The problem was that it would need a multi-XMP system that would cost millions of dollars and it’d require over a billion records. Even with-”  
“Even with superfast processors and algorithms, the process would take potentially several days. I remember. Go on.” He really had read your paper, a flattering thought.   
“What if we designed a whole new system that utilised the aspects we needed and amalgamated them?” Bruce tapped his chin thoughtfully.   
“You mean creating a supercomputer specifically designed to handle the extraction of the plant DNA?”  
“Yes. And then we could use it to select the right sequences and gradually grow skin tissue, muscle tissue – even bones.” The thought made you giddy but Banner looked apprehensive. He ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s a nice idea but is it even possible?” The question you had been waiting for him to ask. You grabbed the notes you had scrawled and held them in front of his face. Your fingers had been a little harsh in their seizing of the paper and had crumpled the edges but Bruce smoothed them out before reading it. Tony had heard the entrails of the conversation and left his “space junk” alone long enough to begin making his way over.   
“This… This could work.” Bruce breathed as Stark arrived. “I mean it’s the bare bones of it but with a bit of help, you could do it.” You bit your lip to try and stop yourself smiling but the corners of your mouth forced their way up anyway. Tossing the paper to Tony, who had been trying to catch a glimpse over the doctor’s shoulder, Bruce lifted you into a hug and spun you round as you both laughed heartily. Tony perused the sheet whilst you celebrated. You had actually done it.

Bruce let his arms unravel from the small of your back and you dropped gently to the floor. When your eyes caught his, you noticed a blush creep up onto his cheeks and he stepped away. Before you could ask if he was alright, he thrust his hand forward.   
“Congratulations Miss (Y/l/n).” He said monotonously. Your mouth parted a little – he hadn’t called you by your surname since you’d met. Hesitantly, you shook his hand. Even Tony had stopped reading to witness the awkward interaction.

“I should go.” You stammered, beginning to step backwards and make for the door. You cut Bruce off every time he made to speak until you could reach the doorway.   
“I need to get the rest of my notes. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday and left them in my room.” You stammered, hurrying out of the lab. Bruce watched your figure retreat down the corridor and mentally kicked himself.

“Well done Banner. You screwed that one up.” Tony muttered, placing the sheet of paper on the countertop and making a mental note to begin work on them with you later. Bruce rolled his eyes and strolled back to his station. Stark, however, persisted.   
“She mentioned you’d been acting strangely. What the hell is going on?” Bruce was gripping the side of the table with great force. Had his knuckles not been white then Tony might have feared his was getting angry but instead the doctor calmly turned to his friend.   
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t like her in that way?” Tony folded his arms.   
“It occurred to me but the signs suggested otherwise.”

Bruce sighed and released his grip on the table, Tony pitching up next to him.    
“I got scared, okay? You kept talking about us getting together and trying to set us up but I’m not ready. She’s a wonderful woman but I am not built for romance, not the way I am. Maybe I’ll be up for it in the future but as it stands, I think I’d much rather have my friendship with (y/n) back. She is fun to be around and makes me feel normal.” Tony apologetically patted his friend’s shoulder.   
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have got involved.” Bruce shrugged and smiled.   
“Don’t worry about it. She’ll come back eventually and when she does I can apologise.”  
“Will you tell her why you’ve been weird?” Tony said, leaping on the opportunity to utilise his newfound knowledge. Bruce ignored the use of the word “weird”.   
“Not sure. It’d be best to do it delicately if I do.” Tony shook his head.   
“Just tell her. That’s where we went wrong last time – for god’s sake, just tell her honestly if you do.”

* * *

You scurried to your room and tried to distract yourself. Bruce had been acting strange for a while and it had bothered you, but now, when he was actively dismissing you, it was odd and numb. When you’d sighed his name on the rooftop, you’d thought that had been some indication as to your feelings for him but now you were second guessing it. In fact, you hadn’t felt sure of anything in a long time, particularly your emotions. You lay awake for the rest of the evening, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that you’d lost control of yourself. It was during the early hours of the morning that you finally figured it out.

You knocked on Loki’s door with a blanket around your shoulders and a dressing gown barely covered your pyjama-clad body, praying that Loki was awake. After knocking a second time, you concluded the attempt futile and turned around, only for the door to then swing open.   
“Lady (Y/n)?” Loki’s voice echoed gently in the corridor.   
“Sorry I didn’t mean to-”  
“I wasn’t sleeping.” He said, indeed sounding surprisingly alert for somebody that was awake at 3 in the morning. Stepping aside, he allowed you entrance.   
“I’m afraid I cannot offer you a hot beverage – Stark prohibited the installation of such facilities into the room.”  
“That’s alright. I don’t plan to stay long. Were you reading?” You asked. The table lamp was casting a soft orange glow over the smoking chair. Loki had draped the book over the arm of the chair, temporarily holding his page so that he could answer the door.   
“Yes. I cannot sleep well on Midgard – the world outside is too noisy – but I’ve found that reading is an enjoyable activity. Sometimes it even tires me.”

You strutted to the smoking chair and lifted the book off of the arm.   
“Well, don’t leave them like that. You’ll damage the spine.” You pulled a yellow ribbon, which you sometimes used as a comforter, from your dressing gown pocket and placed it in between the pages.   
“You care for books?” He asked. You nodded and stroked the cover. An elegantly dressed Mr Darcy adorned the cover.   
“If history had proven anything, it’s that we live on in books. We should care for them as we do ourselves.” Loki smiled thoughtfully as he settled himself onto the bed.

“What troubles you my lady?” He asked. Apparently early morning Loki was less cynical and snide.   
“Well…” You flopped melodramatically into the chair. “I’m confused… and afraid and anxious. I don’t understand what’s going on anymore. I’ve become this person that neither I nor anyone else likes.” Loki looked down with a disbelieving smile.   
“If it’s any consolation, I like you.”   
“Oh fab. I’m losing my mind and my only friend is a loony from another planet.”

Loki hummed.   
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He grinned, allowing some of his usual self to bleed through.   
“Why am I even talking to you?” You sighed, standing up and making for the door. Instead of attempting to answer your rhetorical question, he grabbed the blanket from around your shoulders and yanked it. You stumbled backwards and toppled onto the bed next to him where he still sat, grinning like a cheeky Cheshire cat.

“Calm yourself my lady, I was merely jesting. What ails you?” He asked again, eliciting a tentative expression from your face. You pouted before responding.   
“I thought that Bruce and I were…” Your words trailed off and Loki winced at the mention of Doctor Banner. “But now I’m wondering whether I felt anything for him at all.” Loki felt a glimmer of hope and squashed it. His stomach twisted again and he willed it to stop. Now was not the time.   
“You need only be patient with Doctor Banner. I’m sure that he has just reason for his behaviours, you need only wait for him to share it with you. Your friendship ensures that that will happen.”

You were a little taken aback at Loki’s words. Since you’d met him he had provoked rage and anger within you, yet the man sat before you seemed compassionate and honest. It would appear that Loki’s terrible past had the potential to form two different kinds of people and he had predominantly chosen to act on the worse of the two. You stomach twisted strangely as you realised that it was you bringing out the alternative.

However, Loki had also noticed the change.   
“You should go, pet.” He said.  _Pet._  He hadn’t called you that since you walked in the room. Of course he was no different. You took the name as a sign to leave and stood, this time Loki not stopping you. His stomach was twisting again, the same way it had done the last time you had shared a conversation. He rose and turned off his lamp before clambering under the bed covers and trying to ignore the noise of the outside world by focusing on the eradication of this strange new feeling. This was impossible.

The next day, you were so tired from your late night that you almost overslept. Picking up a few coffees and snacks to try and avoid suspicion, you walked into the lab attempting to look as normal as possible, though it didn’t stop Tony raising a brow.   
“Late night?” He chuckled.   
“Early morning.” You smiled back. “I guess the excitement of my breakthrough kept me awake.” You thought that you had managed to deflect any further questions but Stark’s inquisitive glare remained fixated on you for the rest of the day. He suspected something. Bruce, on the other hand, paid your late arrival no heed. He had apologised for his awkwardness after your breakthrough and afterwards continued to be civil and friendly, as usual. Yet he still felt distant and you sensed that he wasn’t telling you everything.

The next few days continued in much the same manner. You would find yourself seeking Loki’s comfort and conversation in the early hours of the morning, when you knew him to be awake. After helping you to air your concerns, he would then poke fun at you and demand solitude – it was how most of your conversations ended, though you were slowly adjusting. Loki seemed insistent on helping you and then abruptly reminding you why you shouldn’t be with him.

One of these nights, however, ended differently. You were sat in Loki’s room, again taking your usual seat in his smoking chair, awaiting the inevitable request to leave him be.   
“Bruce seems like he’s not telling me something.” You muttered, playing with the yellow ribbon that protruded from his current book’s pages. Apparently, Loki had continued to use it as a bookmark.   
“Well, why would he?” He sneered. “You made it perfectly clear how you’d react to sensitive information when I arrived.” You rolled your eyes.   
“I still wish he’d tell me what’s bothering him. I’m his friend.”   
“Are you? Instead of airing your concerns and talking to him honestly, you insist on telling myself in his stead.” After a pause, you let your head drop against the arm of the chair and groaned, hearing Loki chuckle at the sight.   
“God I wish you weren’t right. Why are you always right?” Loki had stopped laughing.   
“I’m not always.” You looked up.   
“My lady, I think I owe you a long overdue apology.” He mumbled, standing up and walking slowly to your side. The apprehensive aura surrounding him made you feel uneasy.

“I am sorry that I caused the deaths of your family.”

His words took you by surprise – and not in the good way that makes a smile break out before you can stop it but in the bad way where your hands get clammy and your head starts to hurt.   
“I do not expect your forgiveness. Nor do I imagine that you will understand presently but I insist that you know how much I regret the things I did.” It was like a gun had gone off. You could hear a deafening ringing that drowned out the rest of Loki’s words and you felt sick to your stomach. Standing up, you hurried out of the door. However, your steps were shaky and off centre so that you had to stop and lean against the wall. Tony’s words bled through the ringing:   
_I knew that someday I was going to have to deal with it. It just came sooner than I expected._

As you hunched over, you felt Loki’s hand rest on your back.   
“It’s alright… It’s okay…” He said though it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself as much as he was you. Suddenly images flashed in front of your eyes of all the times you had spent with this man. He had killed your parents and for a long time you’d acted as though he was forgiven, or innocent. Rage began to swell within you, turning your vision red and making every cell in your body shake.

Loki noticed your curled fists and how they trembled. With a severe expression, he realised the error he had made and waved a hand over your head. A little magic could go a long way and it did indeed knock you out. You writhed a little on the floor of the corridor before eventually relaxing, the lack of consciousness temporarily subsiding your anger. Loki knelt next to you and sighed.   
“I’m so sorry…” He whispered. His sincere words were cut off however by a tumultuous voice crying out from the end of the corridor:   
“I knew it!”

Tony rushed forward and pushed Loki aside, gathering you up in his arms.   
“I fucking knew it.” He growled in the God’s direction.   
“I beg your pardon?”  
“I knew you had some ulterior motive, I just didn’t realise that it was so despicable. What’ve you done to her?” He spat, clutching you close to his chest. Loki’s face was dark and his eyes watched Stark with growing fury. He was insulted.   
“Don’t you see?” He hissed and Tony remained motionless.   
“Can you not see what I’ve been doing this whole time? You claim to have had your suspicions but had you truly seen anything of value then you would be able to work out that I was helping her!”

Tony laughed scathingly.   
“You couldn’t help anybody if you tried. And certainly (Y/n) doesn’t need help, let alone from you. She makes it very well on her own.”  
“I think you’ll find we are more alike than you think. When I first met her, Stark, I noticed very quickly that we shared many traits, including our temperament and scepticism of others. However, in exploring these parallels further, one large difference presented itself to me. She is a flawed but good person – a human – whereas I am a villain masquerading as a crusader.”

Tony paused and pursed his lips, letting Loki’s words sink in. Could he be trusted? Was he even telling the truth? It was becoming all too difficult to tell, something that he didn’t like the feeling of.   
“I soon realised that my interactions with her had infected and condemned her to a self-destructive rage. I poisoned her. Thus I was the only one that could undo it. I answered her questions, listened to her concerns and tried to help her as best I could, all the while ensuring she spent as little time in my company as possible to avoid further contamination.” Loki stepped forward and gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. Your sleeping face was more peaceful than he had ever seen it. There was almost no sign of the rage that was probably boiling underneath.   
“However, in my last attempt to free her, I secured the shackles and tossed away the key.”

Tony could hear the sincerity in those last words but still refused to believe them.   
“Why? Why would you even want to help her?”   
“Because I-” Loki began but halted himself. He was a monster and such a thing, such an emotion, was inconceivable. Saying it aloud might even lead himself to believe it could be possible. He shook his head and cackled gutturally whilst stepping back. He was condemned either way in Stark’s eyes, might as well play the part.   
“I knew it.” Tony muttered again before turning on his heel. Loki returned to his room knowing that it would likely be the last time he watched the Midgardian sun rise.

Bruce opened the door to his sleeping quarters in response to the frantic knocking that was coming from the other side. He stretched and yawned, flicked on the light and opened the door a smidgeon. A distraught looking Tony was on the other side holding you in his arms. You were sleeping hopefully, although his friend’s concerned face suggested otherwise.   
“Down to the lab. Now.” Bruce ordered, stepping out of the room and jogging after Tony. He swept papers and books off of the table to make way as Tony laid you down. Quickly, Bruce switched on the scanner and began to wave it over you, data and readings flickering onto the monitor above your head.   
“What happened?” He asked.   
“I don’t know. She’d been acting shifty for the last few days and had mentioned having early mornings so I thought I’d keep an eye on her. She wasn’t in her room and I got there as Loki knocked her out.”   
“Shit.” Bruce muttered. He didn’t have much hope for what would be on the screen if Loki had been involved but as he stared at the data, he was pleasantly surprised.   
“Well? How is she?” Tony walked around to look at the monitor for himself.   
“She’s… She’s great. Everything’s normal. I’d like her heart rate to be a little lower but it’s coming down anyway. She’s fine.”

“It looks like I got there just in time then.” Tony sighed, clutching his chest anxiously. Bruce frowned. Tony was wrong. He didn’t know why yet, but Loki had had the perfect opportunity to harm you and didn’t, so there was clearly more to this than met the eye. However, it appeared that Tony hadn’t made that connection. Bruce had been wearing a baggy jumper over his pyjamas and removed it so as to ball it up and place it under your head.   
“J.A.R.V.I.S., wake up Thor. Get him to meet me in the bar and bring that bastard brother of his with him.” Tony said, storming from the room. After stroking your hair fondly, Banner looked up.   
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m not having that son of a bitch under my roof any longer. Thor is taking him back to Asgard.”  
“Wait, Tony, don’t you think that-” but it was too late. He had left. Bruce exhaled sharply and folded his arms before following.

“He is my brother, Stark, be careful how you speak.”  
“My friend is lying unconscious on a lab table and you’re worried about  _my tone?_ ” Tony hissed. He and Thor had been “talking” for a few minutes as Loki and Bruce watched on. The latter leaned against the door frame as a silent witness whilst the other was sat comfortably on a bar stool. He made the occasional comment, much to Tony’s annoyance.   
“What would you have me do?” Thor eventually asked.   
“I would have you take him back to Asgard. Like now, preferably.” Thor scratched his chin.   
“What have you to say brother?”

It was no secret to anyone in the room that Thor wanted his brother to be innocent. He wished heartily that bringing him to Midgard would not be an action that he would come to regret, and he prayed that Loki would be able to prove his innocence now and fulfil those wishes. The smirk gracing the raven-haired man’s lips as he stood did not bode well, however.

Having made no progress in helping you, Loki had decided that returning to Asgard was for the best. It might even be the final push that would save you, and if it wasn’t, well, then he wouldn’t be here to watch you crumble – a sight he wasn’t sure he could stomach given how much of himself he saw in you.   
“I have nothing to say that is of relevance or that has not already been iterated to the obviously perceptive and intellectual Mr Stark.” Loki grinned. Stark grumbled at the jab but ignored it so that he might organise Loki’s banishment.   
“So it’s settled then.” He grinned acidly.

“Actually, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Bruce finally chimed in. He’d only heard Tony’s rendition of the events and, as much as he liked the man, he could tell something was amiss. Having hoped that Loki would shed some more light on the subject, he’d been left with a choice – let it happen or get to the bottom of it.   
“You’re not telling us something.” He pointed an accusing finger at the trickster God. “And I don’t know why but it doesn’t matter. The only person who can tell us exactly what actually happened is lying on a table in my lab. Let’s wait for her to wake up before banishing an innocent man.” Thor was smiling, happy for the second chance that Banner was yet again willing to give his brother. However Tony was scowling.   
“Innocent?!” He cried.   
“In this crime, possibly.” Bruce uttered before turning on his heel and making for the lab once more. Loki followed him with the famously complacent grin decorating his features.   
“I suppose,” He whispered to the scientist after catching up with him, “that I owe you some sort of thanks.”  
“Not yet, you don’t.” Banner responded as they made it to the lab.

* * *

 _“I think we’ve seen enough of what your anger can do today.”_  
_“Besides, we wouldn’t have hired you if your temperament was that bad.”_  
 _“I am sorry that I caused the deaths of your family.”_  
 _“When I first met her, Stark, I noticed very quickly that we shared many traits, including our temperament and distrust.”_  
 _“However, in my last attempt to free her, I locked the shackles and tossed away the key.”_

Your head was buzzing with knowledge. Loki had been trying to help you. His spell might have knocked you out but it didn’t prevent you from hearing everything that was going on around you. It was all beginning to make sense and it also proved something to you – Loki was capable of redemption, even if it was through you. Something about you had sparked a more compassionate man in him and his actions had been a reflection of the potential for good that lay dormant within. You realised how happy this thought made you. He had tried to make you a better person out of guilt but had missed one thing – he wasn’t the cause.

You’d had a short temper since you were little – that was nothing new. Even Tony had acknowledged it when you were hired. The cause, you thusly deduced, wasn’t Loki. When your family had died, you’d screamed and thrashed and kicked and cried. You couldn’t understand how you would survive without them. When you’d gotten mad with Bruce over Loki’s pardon, you hadn’t understood how everyone else was so accepting of it. When you’d pushed him off of the roof, Loki hadn’t incited your rage but had prompted you to feel the same things you’d felt the day that your family had died. The cause of your anger was confusion. As a scientist, you were accustomed to knowing all about the situation you were in and so any time you didn’t know, you were infuriated. Yet still you were unsure as to why Loki had helped you. Even if he’d felt guilty, there was no reason for him to act upon it. Instead of feeling angry at your ignorance to this information, you felt your stomach begin to twist strangely…

When you opened your eyes, a familiar set of sapphires was looking back at you. Hurrying to sit up, you almost hit your head on the monitor. Loki moved it away just in time and chuckled.   
“Always in a rush.” He mumbled.   
“You’re still here!”  
“Not for much longer, pet.” He said with a sly grin. He stood from where he had been sitting on the table next to you and began to walk away. Thor and Tony, you noticed, were also stood in the room along with Bruce. Loki approached Thor.   
“We’re leaving.” He spat.  _  
_ “But wait, I need to-”

“Wait a minute!” Bruce called out on your behalf, before the God could escape. “You’re still here on the condition that (Y/n) can tell us what actually happened and hopefully what you’re not telling us.” You looked to Bruce with a smile. He’d figured out that something was not as it seemed and you would be eternally grateful to him for that. You implored your gratitude and he smiled.   
“I think you should start by telling us how you knew Loki was supposed to be leaving.” You nodded and Thor grabbed his brother’s arm, dragging him back into the room.

“I heard Tony saying that he was going to get Loki banished.”   
“Yes because of what he did to you!” Tony protested. He strutted forward and took your face in his hands, trying to convince you of what he was sure had happened. You noticed Loki staring at the man fiercely. His gaze only softened when you pushed Stark away. Could it be…? Could Loki…? Of course not.   
“He didn’t do anything, Tony. I heard what he told you, I heard everything.” You breathed. Loki’s eyes widened and you stared him down. “ _Everything._ ” You reiterated. “And I believe him.”

Loki refused to look at you but spoke anyway.   
“If I go back to Asgard, I cannot hurt you.”   
“For a God, you’re a moron, do you know that?” Loki pouted defensively. “All this time, you’ve been trying to protect me from something you didn’t start. Tony can vouch for me, I’ve been unreasonably angry for most of my life.” You giggled. Even Tony had begun to nod without realising it.   
“But… your anger?”  
“I was mourning. If anything I was overreacting.” You smiled, trying to reassure him but he shook his head, ruffling the black tresses on his head.

“You reaction to me after what I did was anything but excessive. You had every right to be mad.” He said and you paused. Loki was the first person to have said that – and about himself no less.   
“Maybe I did. But thanks to you, I didn’t have to be. You’ve shown me that I needn’t be the person I thought I was.” You took a deep breath.   
“And I’m telling you that you can do the same. You’re not the monster you think you are.”  
“Yes I am. Believe me.” He tried to pull the smile you had seen so many times, brimming with villainy and evil but now you could see it as nothing other than strained.

“I am going to Asgard where I can do no further harm.” He turned and began to flee until Thor grabbed his arm once again. Now Loki was irate. He tried to rip his arm out of his brother’s grasp. He screamed and shouted and let all of his pent up emotion escape him in one torrent of wounded cries. Eventually he exhausted himself and turned to face you, tendrils of dark hair now covering his eyes. He looked positively deranged.   
“Stupid Midgardian ape.” He spat but his words were numb and blunt.   
“Your first words to me. How apt.” You grinned, not letting him toy with you any longer.   
“After everything, I did… Everything I said… Why can you not let me leave?” He whined.   
“Because I-” You blurted out without thinking. Loki’s eyebrows raised and even Tony stepped forward, recognising the words that Loki had muttered not long before you. With a nervous and airy laugh, you drew together all of your courage. The twisting in your stomach hadn’t subsided and finally, you knew what it meant.

“Because I love you Loki.”

Everybody slowly turned to look at the God whose eyes were wide and frightened; he seemed unable to comprehend the words that were lingering in the air. Tony’s mouth hung open and even Bruce looked a little shocked. When he’d figured something was awry, that hadn’t been what he was expecting. Thor, however, was grinning from ear to ear. His little brother had been innocent all along and, better yet, he’d finally found someone to bring out the good that Thor had always seen in him. It finally seemed as though his brother might be saved. The world remained silent and so you took it upon yourself to speak.   
“And…” You spoke slowly, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. “I think, in some really egotistical way, you feel the same. Or I wouldn’t be here now. I’d have taken myself off somewhere with my anger and slowly driven myself insane. You may not have started it, but you’ve helped me overcome it.” You slowly began to step towards the God who was quivering next to his brother. The latter’s hand was still around Loki’s arm, refusing to let him go.   
“Please say something.” You said. You were worried that you’d very drastically gotten the wrong impression and had humiliated yourself in front of 4 people. The thought was terrifying.

“You’re… You’re wrong…” Loki stammered, casting his eyes away from you.   
“Am I?” He had been looking at Thor’s large hand that was wrapped around his forearm, wondering if there might be some magic that could remove it, but caught your gaze once more.   
“I wasn’t doing it for you. I was doing it for me. I am the asshole who broke the street, I killed your people, destroyed your cities and broke your trust, remember?”   
“And you’re still all of those things.” You laughed, finally reaching his side. “But you’re not a villain. Or rather, you don’t have to be. Look, you wouldn’t have tried to help me if there wasn’t something in you capable of caring.”

His eyes widened and you thought you saw a tear but ignored it for the sake of his dignity. Thor finally released his grip but Loki didn’t run. Instead, he stood up straighter. You held eye contact waiting for him to protest, or agree, or scream – anything. He adjusted his hair so that it looked less like he’d backcombed it and then flashed you a grin.   
“Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before you were infatuated with me.” Tony grunted and folded his arms. Loki was back.

“Don’t be a prat.” You scolded playfully before placing your hand behind his neck and pulling his lips against yours. After recovering from the initial shock of the kiss, Loki leaned into it. His arms slid around your waist and held you against him to the soundtrack of Bruce trying to hold Tony back and Thor wolf-whistling. You let your lips leave his for a moment, and he took the opportunity to whisper in your ear.   
“If you sigh someone else’s name again, I’ll have to punish you.”   
“I’d like to see you try.” You responded and he smiled slyly, moving in for another kiss.

* * *

You sat in the park watching your daughter scramble over the climbing apparatus. Her raven-black hair shimmered in the midday sun that watched over the park. Even as a baby, Freya’s hair had grown with incredible speed so that the only way to keep it out of her face was by pulling it into a braid. It used to take you several minutes every morning to plait the entirety of her hair – it was  _that_  long – but Loki, who was very protective of his daughter, soon offered to take over and enjoyed the time he could spend with her, listening to her mindless babbling like he could understand it. You even noticed him decorating the end of the braid with a familiar yellow ribbon.

Her name was a Midgardian alternative to Frigga, something you had insisted upon. As a result, Loki had been adamant that you chose the Godfather. Bruce lingered under the monkey bars with his hands outstretched just in case Freya fell, though she never did. Tony had been appalled to hear he hadn’t been chosen.   
“So, who did you pick? Who’s the little tyke’s Godfather?” He’d said with a smug grin.   
“Bruce.” You had said, taking pleasure in the sight of his face dropping. Loki laughed aloud.   
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” You elbowed him in the rib.   
“Uncle then. Can I be Uncle Tony?”  
“She has an uncle, Tony. Thor?” The conversation had ended abruptly afterwards.

You and Loki sat on the park bench, taking the blessed few minutes rest that you could get whilst Bruce played with his Goddaughter.   
“My Queen, we have a beautiful child.” Loki sighed and you smiled.   
“Yeah. She gets it from me, obviously.” He smirked.   
“Just so long as she doesn’t get your talent for cooking.” You turned to face him with narrow eyes and he placed his lips against your nose quickly.   
“My moon and my stars, you are the light of my life and an incredibly talented woman – but your chilli recipe resembles a Bilgesnipe’s faeces.” You let your mouth fall open and he laughed aloud. Bruce looked over momentarily.

“Just admit it my lady, I am a much better cook than you.”  
“I beg to differ.” You scoffed.   
“Ooh, I do so love it when you beg.” Loki leered, placing his lips on your neck.   
“Not in front of the child, if you don’t mind.” Bruce shouted over with a bashful smile on his face. You pushed Loki’s shoulder but he refused to relent, placing more kisses on you.   
“Loki…”   
“Say my name again, my Queen.” He purred but now you were shaking his shoulder.

“No, Loki. Look.” His pale blue eyes looked up you devilishly, only to see they were wide and staring at Freya. He followed your gaze as you stood up, watching your daughter in awe. She held her chubby fingers in the air and made grabbing motions in your direction, asking to be picked up. You were too fascinated to notice. In doing the motion, she had conjured up a collection of stars, constellations, and planets around her. A small blush-coloured mist surrounded her and provided a warm backdrop to the twinkling lights.   
“Is she…?” Bruce asked and Loki looked at you with eyes that could have rivalled the stars themselves.   
“Magic.” He smiled before returning his gaze to the show; his eyes were particularly fixated on one of the planets.

When Freya realised that she was getting no attention from her parents, she turned to the man in the purple shirt.   
“Uce.” She said and eventually, the scientist recognised her nick name for him and lifted her into the air, balancing her on his hip. The galaxy disappeared forthwith.    
“Tony’s going to have a fit.” Bruce chuckled, bouncing baby Freya up and down a little. “He can barely handle Loki’s tricks.” He then turned and began to make for the bench where your satchel of baby supplies was still sitting. You were about to follow when you saw Loki’s face. He was still staring wistfully at the space where the stars had been.

“Loki?” He seemed to snap out of a daze and look at you. “What is it? What did you see?”   
“The planet… The planet she was looking at.” He stepped towards you slowly and cupped your face with his hands.   
“Light of my life, she was looking at Asgard. She was looking at her home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little Loki fic. Let me know what you thought - I'd love to hear the feedback. :)


End file.
